I went to University of Derby and achieved a 2:1 in a Marketing Management degree and got Distinction in an Advanced GNVQ in Business after school.

I moved to London to pursue my career aspirations, own my own apartment in Fulham and have a team of live in Personal Care Assistants (PA) 24/7.

I’ve always strived to be a high achiever and leave a legacy.  March 2010 was no exception – focused on my BBC career, building my coaching portfolio, chairing a national disability charity (JTSMA), producing a pilot for a new business entertainment TV show and more.   Christmas 2009 was ‘planning time’, to decide what I wanted to achieve in 2010.  So I produced a Mind Map outlining my goals.  I lived by Stephen Covey’s principal of Begin with the End in Mind.

Whilst proceeding with vigour I developed a chest infection, which is common during winter.  However, after my second course of antibiotics I became dehydrated from vomiting and stupefied.  I go to A&E, had X-Rays and blood tests and the doctor admits me with a severe chest infection.  One morning I’m found having a seizure and fighting for air.  The doctors and nurses rushed to my bed and brought me around again.  My chest infection got worse and I was suffocating and couldn’t breathe.   I went into a coma and was put on life support to keep me alive – I lay in intensive care unconscious for two months.

I developed multiple organ failure – my kidneys, liver and stomach stopped working and I was on dialysis.    An MRI scan revealed a bleed on my brain.  A nasal gastric (NG) tube fed me nutrients and I had a tracheotomy in my neck.  I had thirty tubes, bags and bottles connected to my body in all.

My Mum who had practically moved to London to be at my bedside went away a weekend break, however, soon after, the doctor summoned her, as they didn’t think I’d make it through the night.

In spite of this, I stabilised and two months passed before I woke from my coma.  As I opened my eyes I was really confused.  I thought I was 100 years old, that the BBC had fired me and the physios were out to kill me.  At first I couldn’t talk.  I used my eyebrows to say Yes (raising them) or No (a frown).

I asked the doctor whether I almost died and he honestly replied “yes, you almost did and you’re lucky to be alive”.

My whole world had shattered.  Not a lot made sense.  I didn’t care that my hair was falling out from the medication.

As I was just out of my coma one of my PAs handed in her notice and I was angry at her ‘bad timing’.  I began poaching the nurses and one them introduced me to her niece who I interviewed in ICU and offered her the job.

When I first sat in my wheelchair my arms were so weak I just drove in circles.  My first time outside ICU was to the tropical fish tank with a tranche of nurses, tubes and equipment.  I stared mesmerised at the fish.  I realised at this moment that what I appreciated in life had shifted if fish spellbound me.

An OT visited daily to exercise my arms and hands to get them working again.  I couldn’t hold a pen or operate my iPhone.   To this day I still can’t feed myself or drive my adapted vehicle.  As soon as I had a Fluoroscopy to see whether I had the strength to swallow food my Speech Therapist and Dietician put me onto a puree diet.  The first food I eat in over two months was pureed salmon and broccoli and mashed potato.  I chuckled that the chef had shaped the pureed salmon into the shape of a fish.

No matter how much physio and suctioning I had I just couldn’t clear my chest.  I was exhausted, depressed and desperate to go home.  When I eventually left hospital I recuperated in Somerset.

I wanted to get back to ‘normal’ rather too quickly and so I arranged a phased return to work.  I installed speech recognition software on my laptop and Access to Work funding for transport.  Returning to work gave me structure and some purpose again.  However, I struggled physically and emotionally.  But I stuck at it.

Although I’m missing three months of 2010, this whole experience has had a profound impact on my life.  Inspired by coaching, I’m writing a seminar and book to help others learn from my insights.  Here’s a sample:

Fear

I faced the ultimate fear – Death!  Things I once feared feel less significant.  My mantra is “well, [this or that] isn’t as bad as being on life support!”  We’re born with just two fears: fear of falling and fear of loud noises.  Every other fear is something we’ve learnt.  Do these fears have a right to impede us?  We created them!

• Brainstorm all your fears.  Write a list as long as you can.  Write some more.
• Read through your fears aloud.  Listen intuitively to your body.  Do you become tense? Does your heart rate increase?  This is a good indicator of fear as discussed by Charles Darwin in his book The Expression of Emotion.
• Score each fear 0-10.  Where 0 fears have little impact on you, to 10 where you’re taken a long way outside your comfort zone.
• Categorise your fears into ‘comfort zones’.  For example, fears scored 6 or less you can cope reasonably well with.  Scores 7-8 are uncomfortable.  Fears scored 9 or 10 panic you.  You decide your thresholds.
• What do your high scoring fears tell you?  What patterns can you see?
• Tackle your highest scoring fears first.   As Brian Tracy says begin by eating the ugliest frog first.
• What’s the worst that can happen?  If this fear comes true, what could you do to make the situation better?  Are you really not in control of the situation?  How can you regain control?

Priorities – what’s important?

Before the coma I was a busy man!  Lying in hospital with no responsibilities I asked myself: “What is it that’s really important to me?”  I was spending time on some things that demanded more of me than I got in return.  What’s your return on investment in the things you do?

• Write down everything you’re doing in your life – for yourself, work, spouse and family – everything.
• Cross through everything you do because you feel you ‘should’ be doing it or someone might be disappointed if you didn’t do it.  How much have you crossed out?
• Put a star next to the things you want to do and enjoy doing.  If you aren’t doing the things you crossed out, what would you do more of or start doing?

According to Stephen Covey’s Time Management Matrix we should spend our time working at the things that are Important but Not Urgent – the quadrant of quality and personal leadership.  But most of us spend our time working at things that are Important but Urgent in nature – the quadrant of necessity.

How can you avoid activities in Quadrants III and IV?  How can you do more of Quadrant II?  How can you reduce efforts in Quadrant I so you have more time for Quadrant II?

Family and Friends

I’m fortunate to have a loving family and great circle of friends.  Families are important:

• They are our first school after entering the world – we learn of love and shared experiences;
• Family shape our personality and life as an individual;
• Family is somewhere where we’re accepted without demanding much;

Think of the relationships you hold dear.  How can you nurture these relationships?  What one small gesture could you do right now to let someone know that you care about them?  Actions speak louder than words.  Do you hold any grudges?  How helpful are these grudges?

Despite having a pretty horrific illness I’ve gained a lot of positive insights from my experience, which I’m glad to share with you.  Confucius once said “the gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials” and one should “Never, never, never give up” – Winston Churchill.

Arriving at the Best Western hotel, which Srin booked while we were in San Fran, we hit the same initial problem. Yep, the shower was not a roll in. On asking at reception there was nothing they could do and blamed hotels.com for the mistake. This was a moment I am well used to and Srin agreed that with 4 days left, bed baths would suffice. Srin complained after the trip and hotels.com apologised and gave him a voucher. He suggested we use this for a weekend travel next summer, maybe to Amsterdam.

Having the usual teething problems and mass unpacking session, we were struck by something new – sun and warmth. Having been so ill before the trip and with winter in full swing back here, it was a must have for me. Overall I was apprehensive (and it came to be true) that LA was more about areas with history, than something more specific or tangible. This history was also more around entertainment, movies and TV than politics etc. However we were all tired and well travelled so I think sitting on the beach, looking at the cool views of the coast and cruising through Hollywood/Bevery Hills/Sunset Boulevard etc was perfect. Checkout some of the pictures http://www.flickr.com/photos/martyn_sibley/sets/72157625513550662/.

The first full day we hit Malibu beach and Santa Monica Boulevard. The home of Baywatch and lyrics of Sheryl Crow, we were really living the dream. The Sunday we took a short drive up the amazing Pacific route 1 (which goes through San Fran and up to Canada). The views here were stunningly beautiful and we sat with our lunch feeling so inspired by the drive. Afterward we drove down Hollywood boulevard, but didn’t do the walk of fame because the xmas lights were being switched on in front of crowds of people. Having asked one cool copper where, we hit Hollywoods viewing platform at the Griffiths Observatory. This is where on the video I got carried away and did a cheesy martynsibley.com plug.

Monday we found Rodeo drive, Beverly Hills, Bel Air and Sunset Boulevard. We did a piece on the video for the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I wanted a cocktail on Sunset Boulevard and knew it hit Malibu beach from a couple of days earlier. Having drove for 30 minutes around 4.45pm towards a beautiful sunset, not a bar was in sight. We found out the lively part was eastwards (the other direction) on Sunset Boulevard which was gutting. The good news was we reached the beach on our last night for this picturesque sunset and poignant moment for the trip.

We then headed toward Manhattan Beach, near to our hotel, for the last evening. One of my best times in LA was this area. One of the nights, we all had our favourite meal in an Italian/Greek restaurant there. We also found a truly American bar with sports memorabilia and a pool table. The people there were welcoming and it reminded me of a West Coast ‘cheers’ bar. I asked if Tina’s Margherita could be powered up with a little more alcohol. I thought the bar tender was mortally offended, but as I was chatting to Ted and Pete (my 60 year old mates I made through booze) the bar tender came around. Next thing he’s pouring extra shots and telling us we were cool UK/Austrian peeps. This night was also when I taught Srin he could play pool, checkout the photos of the grudge match. Tina and I vs Srin and Hugh. We drew 1-1.

Now the other almost spiritual part of the trip related to my teenage years. Please do not laugh but I was a bit of a wannabe gangster when I was 12 or so. The first album I bought was Warren G, Regulate and had to place my thumb over the ‘parental advisory’ label. Needless to say, loving my west coast rap such as Dre, Snoop etc, we had to visit Compton, Inglewood and Long Beach. We found KDAY 935 radio station for the pilgrimage to Compton on route to Manhattan Beach. Srin couldn’t believe I knew every lyric. My hairs on my arms stood up and I was buzzing. Sad but true. I was really living the dream at that point. “Westside!!!”.

On the last day I grabbed some souvenir presents for people back home, lapped up the last rays of sun, and felt a little nostalgic. I also turned my attention back to the UK and how to apply some learnings on the trip when home. At the airport we were delayed by 2 hours because of the snow back home. Security was a bit crazy, having to get touched all over and be swabbed for explosive traces, but hey its 2010 right. Tired and going through the mental preparation for flying – will they lift me ok, will my chair be ok, will my bum last the journey etc. Jack Black then comes through the doors. We all had to double take the situation.

Jack Black was amazing! I spoke to his wife, while the others chatted about movies with him. She was really cool too. Then I seized the moment and asked if I could be cheeky by filming him for my blog. He said sure and asked what it was for. I explained it was for disability and he launched into 4 takes as per the end of the trips video. I have since cut the smoothest version which is here http://martynsibley.com/jack-black-singing-martynsibley-com. Amazing. He took my card and said he will look me up on Facebook, fingers crossed. I grinned the whole flight home.

On landing in snow and 0 degrees after being awake 24 hours was hard. To add to this the car broke, again. Srins dad kindly dropped us off at the Long Stay car park to save my hands getting the ‘claw’ from the cold. We threw the bags in after he headed, I hit the button and… nothing! I was pretty close to panic with no sleep, the cold and my health. Fortunately the customer service office provided warmth and an eventual jump start. I slept so well that night and realised all is well that ends well. I may at some stage look more broadly at the US vs UK for disability, but for now this ends the personal accounts of this trip, an absolutely great one too J

Hannah already has a tricycle which she received in 2003 and which she absolutely loves but she has now outgrown it and it is also extremely worn on several parts such as the knee supports. Following a major operation in 2005 a trike is more important than ever to Hannah because she now has one leg shorter than the other and a trike not only allows her to exercise and keep fit, but also helps to straighten her leg which twists frequently.

Hannah’s Mum explained that a new tricycle was vital so that she could share outdoors activity with her daughter and because of the physiotherapy benefits.  She also mentioned that her daughter sleeps better when she has been on her trike and is less restless.  Perhaps most importantly, a trike provide happiness and fun and this she summed up by saying: ‘it brings a smile as wide as the ocean to her face.’

Priority , working with Whizz-Kidz was able to fund the trike, which Hannah received August 2009 and she absolutely loves it as you can see from the smile on her face.  The pictures below were taken in December 2009 and show Hannah on her beloved red trike.  Speaking of the difference, the equipment had made, Hannah’s Mum said:

“Hannah is very severely disabled and the bike provides one of the only ways for her to get exercise. It is also a great way for her to meet other children – kids who would be put off by her big wheelchair will come up to her when she is on her bike and ask questions or just admire it.”

In 2007 Amelia was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type II. This neuromuscular condition affects people in different ways. Amelia was able to walk on her own until she was 18 months old, when her condition deteriorated and she now needs a wheelchair to move around independently.

In June 2009 Amelia was given her ‘Koala’ Permobil powered wheelchair, through the support of The Priority Trust. As soon as she received the chair, she worked out the controls and just got on with using it. She is now able to move around at home, move toys from room to room and push her doll in its pram.

Amelia goes to nursery several days each week and ‘walks’ there herself and interacts normally with her friends. Her Mum said “we were worried how she would get on at nursery, but she just went straight in and got on with it.” The riser facility allows her to sit at table height with her peers and take part in all activities. Later this year she’ll start full-time school and can’t wait! The ‘Koala’ will significantly improve her life experiences at this crucial developmental stage.

Her Mum adds “With her ‘Koala’ Amelia can play with her friends, choose where she wants to go and scare her parents by driving too quickly! The riser facility means that she can press the button at the pedestrian crossing, choose food in the supermarket and reach her toys.”

Imaan is 5 year old girl living in the west of England  who has a diagnosis of global developmental delay, microcephaly and epilepsy. She has profound learning disabilities and is unable to communicate verbally. She has disturbed sleep patterns and episodes of hyperactivity. Imaan and her family applied for an all-terrain buggy to enable the family to go out together and give them greater independence.

Feedback received suggests the buggy is already proving beneficial.  The basic buggy provided by the occupational therapists could only be used indoors and on well-paved surfaces. The new buggy that The Priority Trust grant funded helps Imaan travel over and access areas that were previously inaccessible.

Imaan is getting greater enjoyment from life because of the new equipment.  She enjoys rolling around on grass, which the family does not have at home, and which she would previously have found difficult to access with the old equipment.  The new buggy helps her to get to parks and woodland that she would have struggled to get to before.

Libby is a 2 years old who lives in South Wales and has a diagnosis of Spina-Bifida and Hydrocephalus, Talipes and Bilateral hip dislocation. Libby has some independent mobility as she can commando crawl and sit independently. But she is unable and unlikely to walk. Libby is also incontinent and requires catheterisation twice a day. Libby’s speech is developing; she has a few words but is not yet stringing sentences together.

The family applied for a powered wheelchair to enable Libby to become more independent and access nursery and school playgrounds and enable her to join in family outings. The sit to stand facility on the chair would allow Libby to access different surface heights and participate in more activities, which will help her overall development and education.

The equipment was delivered on the 24th June. Libby’s father has said that the powered wheelchair has exceeded their expectations and her physiotherapists have confirmed that it meets all of Libby’s needs.

He went on to say that the transformation in Libby’s behaviour has been incredible. There has been a noticeable increase in her confidence and in her communication.  The support that the new equipment provides has helped to reduce her pain, which in turn has increased her mobility. She is more able to get to her physiotherapist appointments, which in turn has meant that the physiotherapy team can help teach Libby how to use the wheelchair to make the most out of it.

Jack lives in Scotland, is 4 years old and has a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy. He was born prematurely at 29 weeks gestation. Jack has no learning or communication difficulties and attends a mainstream school with full time one to one support. Jack is able to crawl on the floor but he is unable to weight bear or walk without specialist equipment and requires constant supervision as he has very poor balance. He uses a specialist buggy for his mobility needs outdoors and requires assistance with his care needs and with activities of daily living.

Jack is a full time attendant propelled manual wheelchair user when outdoors and due to the arrival of Jack’s baby brother, his Mother required a double buggy to be able to take both children out. Their standard double buggy was not comfortable for Jack and did not provide the additional postural support he needs.

Jack’s mother has confirmed the buggy has made a significant difference to the family’s everyday life and for external access, the buggy meets Jack’s needs perfectly.  The double buggy has helped tremendously with transporting both Jack and his younger brother. The postural support is helping Jack to relax and reduce the pressure on his joints, decreasing the amount of pain he experiences. This, along with his ability to relax his stomach muscles due to the postural supports, has increased the quality of his life dramatically. The buggy has also substantially reduced the strain on his mother’s lower back.

David is 11 years old and lives in Scotland. He was born pre-term at 30 weeks gestation and has a diagnosis of cerebral palsy. David does have reduced muscle tone but following intensive therapy is growing in strength and is now able to independently transfer. David has no communication or learning difficulties and attends a mainstream school with full time support and is registered as visually impaired. David is a full time manual wheelchair user and he is able to self propel on appropriate surfaces and over short distances.

The family applied to Newlife for a powered wheelchair as he tires easily and this is impacting on his independence as he cannot keep up with his peers. David would benefit from a powered wheelchair as he is due to start secondary school and currently would require assistance to mobilise around the campus. A powered wheelchair would also allow David to socialise in an age appropriate way outside of the home.

This wheelchair with modified seating was delivered in early August.  David’s Mother states that the new chair has been wonderful for his independence and for helping him to get around school.  They are happy with the equipment and have confirmed that it has made a significant difference to David’s life. The new chair has helped with David’s back pain because it has a much better support, which means that David no longer has to lie down during the day and can now access the school campus and keep up with his friends all day long.

David’s mother is ‘absolutely happy’ with the equipment and the service and wishes to thank all concerned for the help given and the wonderful work that we do.

Alex is 7 years old, lives in Surrey and has a diagnosis of severe autism. He is unable to communicate verbally and uses a PECs system to make his wishes known and does not have any difficulties with his hearing or vision. Alex is able to walk independently but has no sense of danger. Alex displays challenging and self-harming behaviour; he regularly physically attacks and injures other members of the family. Alex attends a SEN school full time and requires a specialist buggy when away from home to ensure his safety as with no awareness of danger, he will run into roads. Alex is physically strong and when distressed will often refuse to walk. Provision of the buggy will allow mum to take Alex out without worrying about his safety.

Update: This equipment has been delivered and we are currently seeking feedback from the family on the beneficial impact this equipment has brought.

Alphonso is 9 years old and lives in London. He was clinically diagnosed with infantile epilepsy which has led to his severe developmental delay. Alphonso is also prone to frequent and repeated infections due to a blood disorder. Alphonso attends a special needs school for his physical and learning difficulties. He has no speech and communicates by making noises or eye pointing. Alphonso is able to weight bear and can assist with transfers but he is unable to walk without specialist equipment and assistance and is a full time manual wheelchair user requiring attendant assistance. The application to Newlife was for an all terrain buggy which will enable Alphonso and his family to go out and access different places and terrains. The lightweight buggy will also provide Alphonso with the postural support and positioning that he requires  and can be easily transported in the family car.

The family is very happy with the buggy which although very lightweight, is strong enough to bear Alfonso’s weight, which the previous equipment did not.  The family appreciate its’ lightness, which makes it easy to use and transport. The footrest had to be adjusted but the family were able to do that easily.  Alfonso is now able to take part in family activities in the countryside, which was not often possible before, and all-in-all, since the arrival of the all-terrain buggy, his quality of life has definitely increased. The family commented that the application process was very simple and the staff  were very friendly and helpful.

Lottie is 3 years old and lives in south west England. She has a diagnosis of Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 2. Lottie was able to walk independently until the age of 18 months when her condition deteriorated and she is now dependent on a specialist buggy for all of her mobility needs and is unable to move about independently. Lottie does not have any learning difficulties or communication difficulties and attends a main stream nursery. The Family applied for a powered wheelchair with high low facility. This equipment would allow Lottie to interact and develop in an age appropriate way and access the same surfaces / heights as her able bodied peers. Lottie is due to start school in the coming months and this equipment will significantly improve her life experiences at this crucial developmental stage.

The equipment was delivered in late July and Lottie’s Mother confirms that they are very happy with the wheelchair – ‘it is wonderful’.  She states that Lottie is a different person, is enjoying everything and is really happy.

The wheelchair has made a significant difference to Lottie’s life, she is now able to participate with her peers at nursery and she shows her friends what her wheelchair can do. She can now keep up with them on the playground and is equally involved in all indoor and outdoor activities. Lottie’s Mother is more than happy to help in any way she can and is going to forward some photos by email.

‘Everybody was so kind and helpful. Everything was so quick and easy.’